The Train to Recovery

After losing my regular job due to, let’s just say, some self-destructive extracurricular activities that had become a higher priority than work. I had no choice but to freelance. That created another problem. While gainfully employed on the days I didn’t show up. I still received a paycheck. That is till I ran out of sick days, vacation time, and my fed up employer sent me packing.

Now with my job gone to support my cocaine addiction, I was going to have to find myself another situation and quick.  The industry I was in was tightly knit especially in Providence, Rhode Island.

Once a sought-after practitioner of my profession, I had been labeled as an unreliable druggy. With no other alternative available and no money, I set about doing freelancing.

At first, I thought this was great. I did my work, got my money, and snorted my coke no questions asked. As time went on, I found myself as any druggie would, less and less interested in seeking work and more interested in hanging out and getting stoned. That led to yet another difficult situation. After missing several key assignments, I was considered an unreliable druggy in the rest Rhode Island, Bristol County Massachusetts and Windham County Connecticut.

My financial situation had become somewhat perilous. What that meant was I had no money to buy coke. After nearly three weeks of emailing resumes to assignment agencies. One outside of New England informed me they had an assignment for me in some obscure place called Metro Park, New Jersey. I informed them I couldn’t do it. I lied and told them I didn’t drive and had no way to get there. In reality, I’d signed my car over to a certain supplier to keep him from beating me to a pulp.

I was told not to worry that Metro Park was a major Amtrak Station and the assignment was walking distance from the station, as was the hotel they’d be putting me up in. After packing, I made sure I had all my necessities and I don’t mean my toothbrush and razors. At this point in my cocaine addiction, I was snorting on the hour, and the first thing I thought about in the morning was my blow and that was the last thing I thought about at night. It never dawned on me that I would be unable to sit on a train for four hours.

After two hours give or take twenty minutes or so. I had to get off the train when it stopped at Stamford, Connecticut to do a line. I didn’t realize I left all my stuff including my ticket on that train bound for Metro Park. Stuck without money, without a ticket, no cell phone, I didn’t know what I’d do. After I snorted, I didn’t care.  It wasn’t till some months later after I got arrested in Stamford with some of my “new friends” that I hit bottom and realized my cocaine addiction had pretty much destroyed me.


Ned P. – Providence, RI

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Detox should never be attempted in your home or without medical supervision at a licensed cocaine detox facility.