The Odds of Redemption

I know that people generally don’t read this site until it’s too late, but I would be remiss if I didn’t tell people who were thinking of trying cocaine that they can’t possibly realize what they’re in for. It gets to you in ways you can never imagine. I didn’t even understand the extent of the damage it did in my life until the bottom fell out and I was left to pick up the pieces—I was lucky that I was alive to be able to do so. Be warned that a casual college experiment can very easily turn to self-destruction.

I’m going to get graphic for just one minute and say that I first knew I was addicted to cocaine when I became comfortable with seeing blood in my tissue after blowing my nose. There are certain deals that addicts make with themselves in an effort to rationalize their dependency; this was one of them for me. I had also grown comfortable with lying, theft, joblessness and social and personal deterioration. Some days you tell yourself that you’ll quit tomorrow; others you say that if the people in your life can’t accept you for who you are, they can go to hell. The problem with the latter stance is that you’re not really yourself when you’re addicted to cocaine.

It was a hard return to reality, one that nobody ever expected me to make. Even some of my closest loved ones had written me off, certain that I had been lost forever. After two years of gradual degradation, I took a look at what cocaine had made me-a hyperactive, delusional junkie with no money, friends or ambition-and decided I was going to do something about it. Like most people, I had my struggles with relapse, but once I made the commitment to recovery, I never lost it. After trying outpatient treatment and failing, I decided I needed something more substantial and went into a residential program.

I entered inpatient cocaine addiction treatment to make myself new again. While I didn’t totally accomplish this during my time there, I did the bulk of the work that I needed to do to shed my sins and build a better future. I learned that I needed to hold on to a bit of my past to keep myself grounded and focused on recovery. So far it’s been working and despite a few close calls, I’ve remained cocaine-free since completing treatment. I get regular calls from my old treatment facility and it fills me with pride every time I tell them that I’m moving forward.

Human beings possess extraordinary power to change their lives. Unfortunately they also possess extraordinary power to destroy them. The fact that I’ve managed to stay sharp since leaving treatment is a combination of family support and personal determination. Luck may have had something to do with it in the beginning, but these days I make my own luck. 

Finding cocaine treatment centers, cocaine detox programs, cocaine drug rehabs can be a difficult and frustrating process. Contact the National Referral Center for Cocaine Addiction anytime toll-free at (888) 515-7707 or through our online form, for our recommendations of the best medically licensed detox centers for you or your loved one!

Detox should never be attempted in your home or without medical supervision at a licensed cocaine detox facility.