Knowing is Easier than Doing

When you go to do that first line, make sure you’re ready to undertake the practically superhuman feat of making it through cocaine detox. This is not alarmist rhetoric, it’s not an empty threat, a hollow cautionary tale or scare tactic; this is the voice of experience from someone who never wanted to be. I was destined for greater things. I had a 120 IQ and was determined to put it to good use—I just never knew how. My excessive confidence and lack of direction caused me to try cocaine in 2003, and I started a gradual descent toward what they call rock-bottom.

Cocaine crippled my ability to reason, concentrate and work things out for myself. My brain was running at a frenetic pace, but never actually went anywhere. The more coke I did, the less I was able to do of anything else. It was like somebody was reaching inside of me every day and turning off my brain and my strength. My friends started to notice these changes in my behavior and slowly fazed themselves out of my life. I resented them for a long time for retreating the way they did; now I realize they didn’t have any other choice.

Around 2008, I tried to get myself into treatment, but relapsed after a nightmarish and ineffective detoxification period, during which I was basically stuck in a room, forgotten and left to fend for myself. I was there for three days, and spoke to another human being a total of six times. All this experience did was make me hate myself and everyone else all the more, and I didn’t want any part of it after a while.  I signed myself out, told off the intake coordinator and called my dealer as soon as I was able to turn the corner. A year of poor health and desperation followed.

I reached a point in my life where I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror without crying or contemplating suicide. There were no answers; only urges, and I was so far from where I wanted to be. I wasn’t living; I was surviving, and I was barely doing that. I was existing on what could charitably be described as borrowed time. My head was a sea of confusion, my guts were all out of sorts and I would have given anything to feel normal. I started considering how other people beat cocaine addiction and eventually came to the conclusion that I just needed to enter a program that was worth its salt.

I checked into cocaine detox, for the second time in August of 2010, trembling, confused and reluctant; I left treatment in October of 2010, confident, ambitious and determined—this was no coincidence. Recovery felt like the next stage in my personal evolution. I was stronger, I was smarter and had a deeper a capacity to love and appreciate the things around me. These are rare and precious gifts from someone who had previously placed no value on life…not even his own. A second chance is a luxury few people in my position are afforded; I got mine three years ago and have been holding onto it ever since.

Finding cocaine treatment centers, cocaine detox programs, cocaine drug rehabs can be a difficult and frustrating process. Contact the National Referral Center for Cocaine Addiction anytime toll-free at (888) 515-7707 or through our online form, for our recommendations of the best medically licensed detox centers for you or your loved one!

Detox should never be attempted in your home or without medical supervision at a licensed cocaine detox facility.