A Month-Long Epiphany

It’s one of the ugliest addictions there is, but to me there was nothing more beautiful than doing cocaine. I felt like I could do anything; like the night was endless and full of possibilities. I soon found out that there’s a price to be paid for such feelings. I started doing coke when I was 16 and desperate for something new in my life. It became clear that college wasn’t going to happen for me and I needed something to numb the monotony of working for my mother’s company day in and day out. Cocaine was the perfect escape.

After about six months I started noticing that everything in my life was slipping: my social life, my savings account my ability to concentrate, my health, everything. The insane thing was that I didn’t care. I was willing to mortgage everything I had and was for a temporary escape from the reality of my life. I started losing my friends, the trust of my family, my sense of time and everything that was important to me. Simply put, the feeling that cocaine gave was more valuable to me than anything of those things. I was an addict inside of half a year. 

When you’re an addict, you do what addicts do: steal from your family and friends; lie to everyone about everything; get on a first-name basis with the county judge, etc. I was in and out of jail and outpatient rehabs more often than I was at work. My parents and girlfriend kept believing my “last-time” stories, until it became impossible to have any kind of faith in me at all. I chose to enter inpatient cocaine addiction treatment shortly after my girlfriend left me. We had been together for nearly 6 years and it only took cocaine less than a year to destroy our relationship.

I wasn’t foolish enough to believe that I could win her back no matter what I did; but each day I was in there, I secretly held the hope that she would be waiting for me when I left treatment. I learned quickly, however, that you have get better for yourself and not anybody else. It’s unfortunate that it took me going to rehab to learn about who I truly was, but I guess it could always be worse. If I hadn’t gone into treatment when I did, I’m convinced that I’d be on the fast track to early death.

When I finished treatment, I actually did manage to patch things up with my girlfriend, and she has been my biggest source of strength ever since. In August of 2013, she stopped being my girlfriend and became my wife. I’ve also managed to regain my parents’ trust, the true value of which had been lost on me when I was high. Life can change in an instant. It’s up to us as individuals to fill the days with what makes us happy; not what makes us sick. For those that are still doing coke, I can only tell you that it will just keep getting worse without proper treatment. 

Finding cocaine treatment centers, cocaine detox programs, cocaine drug rehabs can be a difficult and frustrating process. Contact the National Referral Center for Cocaine Addiction anytime toll-free at (888) 515-7707 or through our online form, for our recommendations of the best medically licensed detox centers for you or your loved one!

Detox should never be attempted in your home or without medical supervision at a licensed cocaine detox facility.